O P E N M I C

I am her.
The current state of constantly drooling
and
tripping over my own ankles.


Im getting married.
I think
I can feel that
It'll happen.
I just want some dough with sugar.



SHIT.



Why would you do that?
marking your territory,eh?



(okay)
(thanks)


Nudges
and sympathy


                              (with some carlsberg in the frontline)

G W A R N

A few snaps i took for a friends upcoming site regarding something something ,ya dig? **pats nose** (all shall be reveal in due course)

HIYAZZZZZZ

OKAY: soo the photo(below) was part something i shot for designer nicole bramble and i actually posted the picture on my blog ages ago THEN i deleted it like some any next wasteman.Then a friend of mine was like 'whyyyyyy would you do that?",my response was something on the line of me thinking the photo was crap n ting. BLEUUUUUURGHHHHH. I reeeealllly dont like any 'commercial' stuff i shoot(i.e those ones that pay my haribos billls). Hmm but i dont know. I could only get better,right??

**stops self from going to in a tangent and changes topic**
 -In other news, In case you dont know. I HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY, which means ive been watching a marrrrathon of basketball wives(an american reality show about basketball wives + girlfriends)for three days in a row. Like, i serrrrriuuosly neeed watch something more insightful like QI or............something.

H O L A


soo im currently drinking cold tea for some odd reason and im half heartedly watching this movie called 'Duplicity' by julia roberts and Clive Owen.
TERRIBLE TERRIBLE AWLFUL MOVIE...just no.
However, I sort of forgot to mention you meeches that im fucking off to wales for uni for like urmm three years. AWESOME UH? one word: CLEARING.
but i am studying the 'best course everz' anthropology(aparently its a hipster degree, YAAAAAAYYY!) sooo basically im practically gettting a degree to become a more sarcastic and smug-ey wit. GREEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!! **skips around frantically**
Plus,i got a letter the other day saying im sharing a room with someone. WHUUUUUT? AN ACTUAL PERSON? why?
(note to readers: funmi is an only child and is not reaaaaaally used to sharing a room with pplz n ting)
Okay, soo what if my room mate is a psycho?..............or smelll of cheeese? I WOULD ACTUALLY CRY. Sooo, like five minutes ago i came up with a list of the ideal room mate, Here it is:

1. Must  be willingly to do watermelon wednesdays with me(..this involves eating watermelons every wednesday ever WEDNESDAYS FOREVER AND EVERZZ)
2. Be UBERLY COOL(what does that even mean? pfft) and funny.
3. A fan of justin bieber.
4. Must be sane in THE HEAD.
5. Oh did i say funny?
6. ............and just normal, you know.

Urmm that list was kinda vague and sucke-ey but you get what i mean, doe? NO? urgghhh. bleurghhhhh



**swiflty changes topic and tries to think of something insightful to say**


SOO WHOSE BEEN WATCHING BIG BROTHER? i know. im sorry for even asking that question. Yes, it's the worstiest(?)show in human history but IM HIGHLY addicted to it. F A Y U L of my half. Apolises again.


But seriously, rebeckah(bb housemate) is a wittttttttttch or juju masteeeer. Like the way she keeps luring aden(another bb housemate) with her puss(vagina) is just OUTSTANDING and the pooor boy is just moooooooooooooooooooist and SHE KEEPS FLIRRTING WITH MARK(another another bb housemate) IN FRONT OF ADEN. HOW RUDE? SMH SMH.

But on a different note, Next tuesday my photo is going to be exhibited at the 'Underground gallery' for some group exhibition im taking part in and there's gonna be a private view. OH LA LA. It's weird because personally i think it might involve me talking about...my ONE PHOTO. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. I CANT TALK PROPERLY IN PUBLIC. i think writing on the internetzzz is easy, init?

P E A K.

(ps:ive been reading alot of carol ann duffy's poems recently. OH MY GOD. SHE IS ME. WE ARE LIKE TWIIIINZZZ)

MUSICAL TIPS 4 THE MONTHzzzz.

1. DELILAH - GO
2. BUNNY HOLIDAY - THE LOOK
3. EMMALYN AND DJ HUNT - THINKING ABOUT YOU(cover)
4. REAL ESTATE - YOUNGER THAN YESTERDAY
5. POP LEVI- WANNAMAMA
6. PEGGY SUE - CUT MY TEETH
7. ST VINCENT - SAVE ME FROM WHAT I WANT
8. FLORENCE AND THE MANCHINE- WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME

ELIAS.

BELIEVED IT OR NOT HE WAS ACTUALLY SOOOO ANNOYED WITH ME AS I SAID HE LOOKS JEWISH

(WHICH HE DOES)

(ITS THE HAIR, I THINK)

MY DOPERGAALLRGER(?)...BAFIC.

HE TAKES PRETTY OKAY PHOTOS, IS DYLSLEXIC AND HE TENDS TO GO ON A TANGENT QUITE ALOT.

check out his blog/site thigy majig: www.bafic.co.uk

SPOTTED: NILU'S AMAZING BLACK SILY DRESS

(WASTEMAN)KEVIN AND (AUNTY)PAT

AT SOME FOREST WITH BAFIC.

Every now and again.
I would catch a glimpse of sophia with her hair neatly in tact
I have never seen someone look soo perfect.
urgh. (i hate her)
the smell of what seems to be lemon pancakes feeds its way through my window and -
makes me somehow sick.
I wont complain,though.
I dont.
I never do.

There was some tale that some bruh told me about sophia.
That she killed a cat (a really cute one aswell)
-Like those ones you see in commercials and you wanna adopt.
.....yeah
Deep huh?

She burnt the cat
and kept the ashes

                                                                                                                      (how do i know?)
                                                                                                                      ( cuz someone told me, init)
She didnt even destroy the evidence,

                                                                                                                      (she's my neighbour, you see)
         (and every tuesday, the scent of her burnt lemon pancakes feeds its way though my window)

And once again,
I wont complain, though
I dont.
I never do.

OKAY. FORGET ABOUT MY GOONY FACIAL EXPRESSION.

BUT CAN WE DISCUSS THE LOVE BIRDS BEHIND ME AND DAVOR?

YESPLEASE.

BASICALLY, THEY'D HAD 'JUST' MET LIKE 2 MINUTES BEFORE THE PHOTO WAS TAKEN.

SMH.

BARNEY AND RONKE @ BARNEY & KEVIN'S EXHIBITION THIGY MAJIG

SO, I LITERALLY JUST GOT AN EMAIL ANOUT RONKE'S LEAVING PARY N ING.

ONE: I DIDNT KNOW SHE'S FUCKING OFF TO AMERICA.

WAH WAH WAH :'(

OH THE BRIGHT SIDE, WHEN IM GOING TO THE STATES, I HAVE A FREE  YARD TO STAY AT.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOP!

NIZZY OR SKINNY MACHO OR WHAT ALIAS DOES GO BY NOW?

DAVOR AND HIS WIFEY

Did you just spit on me?
luike, c'mon dude bruv
that's hardly.
romantic.

AMIE OR THE (FAKE)NAME SHE'D LIKE TO BE KNOWN AS 'BYRON'

**tumbleweed*

ON MY WAY TO PETTY'S HOUSE WITH PETTY REFUSING TO POSE FOR MY SCATTY CAM.

oh hi,

im lost in this fielder(again)






it wasnt your fault.
i swear.


                                                It was the yield
                            (and the woman from the launderette)


DAMN






lets end this.


                                              (too soon)


next week then?


                                             (maybe)






I HATE YOU
(why the bracket speak?)


                          (haha, i dont know. It's safe. i guess)



(urm okay)
well.
nice to meet you.




and i still kinda have your coat.


                                                  
                                                        KEEP IT.

urm soooo i shot my mate agne but it was more of a test to be honest with me mocking around with lights n ting.
meh.
ALSO, she's wearing my jacket.
WHUT WHUT WHUT.

THIS IS A MAJAAAH BREAKTHROUGH.

Out of my umbrella of total crap dope things i do comes, gil and me which is a musical wavezzz which takes influence from Ke$ha, james blake and j-dilla. ZZOOOOOPZOOOP. The song you're about to heae entitled 'smelly joe' is a series of pure rambling and pretty awesomez scrawnyness. yes,THANK YOU.

Smellyjoe by gilandme

WASCO DRY-30

BOY IN THE HOOD WOODZ

Photo by me.

Styling by the ever soo meechy jermaine robinson

It's weird after taking these photos like weeks or months ago, im actually like OVER THEM. However, these ones are probably my favourite, hence why i've decided to urmm show 'em to y'all

THE QUEEN OF MYSTICALNEZZZZ

Soooo, Im sort of about  to go to bed but i feel like i need  to post this video of flo and her crewdem and share it with you guys. urmmm how can i hear the song yesterday on the radio and i was like 'Fuck, THIS IS AMAZING'. like, seriously, florence, you have really up-ped(?) your game. ugh. AMAZEBALZZ. Plus, i HATE the fact this song evokes some emotion in me that makes me to preferably want to go skipping in a fairies costumes. smh.